A person that everyone understands. At least most people. I just want to be that “weird guy”. I do not mean that I would stop fucking sorority sluts, because you guys are great and you have been great friends through and through.

I think most of the rest of the population conform to my ideas and my own opinions, and they are always popular. I just want to feel like I’m the odd man out. I want to be the guy that doesn’t quite fit into any scenario.

All this attention really annoying and hard to escape, particularly lately.

But thank you, GIANT COCK GODS, for being part of the small percentage of gods who bestow my female friends with giant cocks.

My other friends are great and I love having to explain myself to them constantly while licking their silky smooth nutsacks. You guys get all nervous and sweaty when I go for the balls now.

You are truly my saviors.

Does anybody ever think they are “homosesual” instead of normal?

-Zach O.
Private EYE

You can lick my asshole, because you are a challenge to write and the pacing problems of the screenplay are kicking my head in. Fucking Cat and fucking Julian.

AHHHHHHHHH

P.S.

Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!

I AM ZACH.  are you wearing socks?